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If you know anything about Tantra, it might be based on mocking Hollywood depictions, like the ones in American Pie or Sex and the City. Maybe you've watched heavy-breathing, middle-aged couples dressed in caftans or cavorting in the mud on Real Sex or read about Sting's boast that he and his wife make love for seven hours at a time (though it’s said he later added that the seven hours included dinner and a movie). In fact, Tantra is far deeper and more complex than these stereotypical depictions suggest; it's an ancient spiritual tradition that recognizes sexuality as a tool for personal evolution.
The word Tantra comes from two Sanskrit roots "Tanoi" which can be translated as expand and "Trayati" (the source of the English word trowel), which means tool. Thus, Tantra can be translated as tool for expansion. The tool is your physical being, and what you are seeking to expand is your consciousness. In other words, every sexual experience, indeed every experience you have in life, is an opportunity to explore and expand your consciousness. It's more about attitude than technique, although there are many Tantric techniques that can improve and enrich your sex life.
One of the great things about Tantra is that you don't have to buy into any pre-ordained set of beliefs or go to any extremes; there are simple, practical things you can do that can be very effective. While it's a way of life for some, it doesn't have to be for you.
But, what about those Hollywood depictions? Forget about Real Sex and American Pie. You don't have to get all goofy, weird and mystical about it. You just have to learn to focus a little and become more aware and attentive. And what about Sting? You don't need to go for seven hours at a time, or even three or four, but prolonging arousal will make your sexual experiences a lot more powerful.
In purely Western physiological terms, you will go into an altered state, a kind of runners high, if you keep yourself excited for 30 minutes or more. It doesn't have to be intercourse; you just have to be turned on for that long. All the techniques that seem so goofy and all the mystery can be reduced to the simple fact that the longer you stay excited (within reason) the better your sexual experience will be.
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