Dear Debonair,
I have been out of school for about 18 months now and I`m missing the fraternity party days and how it easy was to hook up with a girl. How do you recommend picking up a girl in a bar? I feel that women that go out often are all so full of themselves, only want a free drink, and just don`t respond to anyone unless they`re great looking.
-DisgruntledListen D. Positive thinking…no girl is going to see your face if you walk into the bar with your head down. I am not going to lie, the better looking you are, the easier most things in life are. But I can tell you, the biggest players I know aren`t the richest or the best looking, they`re confident, smooth, and know how to read a woman. Here are a few tips that I picked up along the way:
Why Eye Contact is Important
No matter how good looking you are, how much money you have, what reality TV show you`ve been on or who your father is - I have never approached or been approached by a woman who hasn`t eyed me down several times before a formal introduction. Often my friends insist on talking to a group of girls - I refuse because I can tell they have no interest in us. Have I missed out on many great women because of this theory? Probably. But I can promise you that a girl who is staring you down is interested in something about you.
Don`t Be Too Eager
Bad idea. Women know that the only reason you went out tonight is because you haven`t gotten laid in months.
Desperation is a stinky cologne.
Forget the Cheesy Pickup Lines
No self-respecting woman has ever responded to “Just like I thought, made in heaven.” Women will view corny pickup lines as a fraternity hazing prank that you are being forced into – lest you get paddled that evening.
Talk Using Body Language
Body language is very important. Stand tall, shoulders and back upright. When shaking a woman`s hand be firm - nothing is worse than a limp handshake. Women correlate a man`s handshake to a man`s potency; inject a little Viagra into that shake.
Gently Insult Her Ego
When people go out, especially women, they are using their sex appeal to get noticed. Most guys are fast to compliment a woman because they want to get laid. Nevertheless, if you`re the guy in the group who stands back, and isn`t aggressive, maybe you`ll come off a little distant. And that`s how you`re going to play with her ego a little bit.
“How come he doesn`t want me?” “Why isn`t he approaching me?” This is going to make her want you more. This isn`t fool proof, and if you never introduce yourself, you are guaranteed to fail - but never underestimate playing into women`s insecurities. All humans have very similar emotions, no one likes rejection and everyone likes attention.
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