How to Deal with a Demanding Boss

First, cite positive aspects, qualities, or experiences: “I really appreciated when you/she/he...” Next, soften the blow: “I don’t think it’s a big deal, but I have an issue with...” or “I’m not sure what to do about...” or “Maybe it’s just me, but...” And then come right out and state your frustration. Your boss is busy; don’t dilly-dally.

To complete the sandwich, offer your positive solutions or remarks: “So I thought that we could...” or “Do you think it would help if you...” Be clear as to what you want your boss to do.

If your boss or co-worker counterpoints, first agree right away... and then complete the sandwich: “Yea, I thought about that. But I thought it may better if we...” Similarly, sales professionals are familiar with the “Feel, Felt, Found” technique:

“I know how you feel: ... I felt the same way, but [I’ve thought about that/tried that and] I’ve found... .” If you’re not getting what you want after a few rounds of this verbal jousting, then take what you can get. Save face to “fight” another day; win “the war,” not every battle.

It may be awkward to yoke your boss’ time, but you should always confirm: “When should I follow-up with you?” is more polite than “By when will you do this?” When the time comes, make sure you follow up. If you don’t, your boss may be annoyed: Perhaps if was never important enough to be done in the first place. We’re all looking to delete some of our to-do’s.

You can turn any awkward or tense moment into a civil, if not enjoyable, relationship. Remember: Bullies tend to have low self-esteem. By stroking their egos, you can get ahead (and get the positive reference letter when you leave).

Leverage subtle body language, clarify the assignment’s objectives, and sandwich your complaints. Tell us how they’ve worked with you. Two last tips: Come early & stay late. And, of course, do excellent work!

Previous Page  

		Vikram Rajan e. Vik@CoGrow.com Vikram Rajan is the Experts' MAESTRO! He is on the faculty of the Fashion Institute of Technology and the director of the MAESTRO Business Academy, where he teaches a variety of business courses. Vik has been invited to speak on behalf of the U.S. Small Business Administration, the Nassau Bar Association, HSBC Bank, North Fork Bank, and many others. Vik helps professionals free their time by earning more income with their personal brands.