How to Deal with a Demanding Boss

There’s a whole body of social science research on how to influence other people’s response through subtle body language, eye movements, and verbal methods. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) offers integrated interpersonal skills, like “mirroring and matching.” Google and Wikipedia can give you a quick primer. Such manipulation works, but it shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Takes Notes & Affirm the Assignment

Your boss may be long and boring. By the time the conversation is finally over, you may want to jet back to your desk. But you’d be missing a great opportunity to lessen mistakes and build rapport.

Even if you don’t need to take notes, do so anyway. It conveys that you’re paying attention and taking the assignment seriously. Young attorneys learn very quickly to carry a pad and pen into every meeting. Tip: Asking for a pen is annoying and disruptive to your boss’ train of thought; it shows a lack of organization and maturity. Tip: Always carry 2 pens with you; pens are like lighters (Bics are cheap, yet handy)!

At the end of the conversation, repeat the assignment (and due date/time). “I just want to make sure I got this right” or “So basically, you want me to...” Make sure you’re correct, or this could backfire! If you’re not sure about something, then . . .

Your boss may end the conversation with “Any questions?” (If not, just say, “I have a quick question.”) Ask a question or two; it’s incredulous when an employee has no questions about a complicated assignment. Your question shows your interest and willingness to clarify (to get it right the first time). Even if you’re genuinely confused, phrase your question to convey your attention to detail: “When you said . . . do you mean I should...?”

Sandwich your Frustration

Suppose you have a complaint about a co-worker or your boss. How can you deliver it with composure and preserve your positive tone? Use the proverbial “It’s not you, it’s me” break-up sentiment.

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