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I love men, and I don’t just mean on the rare occasion when I make out with one in the back of a cab. I mean all men — my neighbor the cop, the gentleman who sells me flowers on the corner, the trainer who kicks my butt at the gym, my best friend’s kid brother, the 77 year-old dude at the health food store who appears to know everything about vitamins, and especially my 8 year-old nephew.
I mean, I really do adore men. Men are charming. They are heroes to me. They look out for me, carry my bags for me, protect me, and make me laugh when I have had a rough day. They give me hugs and, at times, a shoulder to cry on. But let’s face it — sometimes men don’t have a friggin’ clue when it comes to oral hygiene! Some of you lovely fellows might be getting passed over right now. I kid you not, there are women who are not going to bed with some of you because your breath smells like a small animal crawled down your yap and pooped in your esophagus!
Okay — chill out. I am not going to drop that bomb on you and run for the hills. Remember, I love you guys. I am rooting for you all to get some action. In addition, I am a rock star health counselor with mounds of info, so here it goes:
According to The Complete Guide to Natural Healing by Tom Monte (Perigee Publishing 1997), bad breath could be a red flag for many health problems and should be taken seriously. Bad breath, according to Monte, could be “a symptom of an internal disorder, the source of which could be the teeth, the gums, sinuses, stomach, liver and small or large intestine. The most common underlying cause of halitosis is constipation or generally poor elimination.”
