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There’s never a bad time for a party in Key West. It’s a place where sunsets are celebrated daily; where plans are often loose and the bars are always packed. Stress is about as common as snowmen in this town, and visitors rarely leave disappointed. Actually, some of them never leave at all—the island is peppered with people on a multi-year “extended vacation,” who gave their two-week notice from the comfort of a Gulf-side barstool.
So, when Key West has a party, you know it’ll be good. And when it’s the biggest party of the year, you would be well advised not to miss it.
That party is Fantasy Fest (October 19-28) this year, Key West’s annual offering to the gods of excess. As the rest of the country is pondering whether to give out Snickers or Kit-Kats on Halloween, Cayo Hueso (the original Spanish name for Key West, meaning literally ‘Bone Island’) puts on an unforgettable bash. Now in its 30th year, Fantasy Fest is a celebration of anonymity, abandon and absurdity. Think mini-Mardi Gras—you are not likely to get any closer to the insanity of Bourbon Street in February than hitting Duval Street in October.
The Fest officially lasts over a week, with events such as the Goombay Festival (a street fair celebrating all things Caribbean) and the Hot Wench and Wicked Pirate Tea Dance (which, of course, needs no further explanation). All of it all builds, however, to the main event—Fantasy Fest parade on the last Saturday. The bedecked hoards descend on Duval Street, usually numbering over 70,000. Most are wearing elaborate costumes, but many are wearing no costumes at all — nude body-painting is as much a part of the tradition as drinking.
It’s pretty difficult to prepare yourself for a party like this. But if you do decide to check this piece of freak-Americana, here are some things that you might find helpful:
• Spend some time on a costume, because it’s pretty hard to get in the spirit without one. People spend days, weeks, even months on their get-ups. The garb varies from Viking to Vaudeville, Harlot to Hero and almost anything you can imagine in between. You’ll have a better time with a great costume.
• Start planning as soon as you can. On an island that’s only 4 miles by 2 miles, space is at a premium-- and so are places to stay during the Fest. Try calling the Key West Inn Keepers Association (1-800-492-1911) or the Key West Welcome Center (1-800-284-4482)—they will be able to supply rates and availability for hotels in the area.
• Although you can fly into Key West, it’s usually cheaper to fly to Miami or Ft. Lauderdale and rent a car to drive down Route 1. Apart from the cost savings, you’ll get a chance to take in three hours worth of amazing subtropical scenery on your way to the southernmost point in the contiguous United States.
• For the parade, show up early, and try to get good vantage point—preferably above the action. One great spot is the balcony at the Whistle Bar (above The Bull) at 224 Duval, which, in addition to having a great view of the parade, offers a body-painting booth and some great people-watching.
• At some point, make it down to the crowded street to experience the unchecked debauchery. If you are with a group of friends, everyone should have a cell phone and there should be a plan to meet somewhere when you get separated on Duval Street. It will happen, so it’s best to plan for it.
• Booze being the lifeblood of this island, they don’t have a whole lot of hang-ups about it. As long as you are of age and it is in a plastic cup, you can take your drink with you into the streets. If you aren’t of age, though, you’ll want to think twice about trying to buy alcohol; Key West is notoriously strict on underage drinking.
• Although this is certainly a tourist destination, it’s not too difficult to find a born-and-raised Key West local (affectionately known on the island as Conchs). If you do, buy them a drink—they will most likely have some great stories to tell. Green Parrot Bar and Schooner Wharf Bar are great Key West bars, and usually host a few thirsty Conchs—although even these places are overrun with tourists as it gets close to parade day.
• Further to the bullet above—Conch is pronounced ‘Konk’. If you say it like it is spelled, you will likely be unceremoniously deported from the conversation (and maybe the island).
To truly make the most of Fantasy Fest, be sure to bring a camera. You will return home with some stories, and it’ll be better to have visual proof–especially when those stories include naked, painted women.
That is, of course, if you actually return home.
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