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New York is the center of social options and opportunity.
So many women, so many choices where to take them when a courtship arises.
And so many times, men act as if the only selections to be had are ones that can be found in suburban Albuquerque, Austin or Allentown.
Out in rural America, there still are signs of modern civilization, albeit the cookie-cutter variety. Strip malls, Applebee’s and movie theatres are still available for the average young guy and girl to get to know each other. But in The Big Apple, the choices are obviously more eclectic and exciting.
Yet often times, men will blow their original effort of getting a girl’s number or paying for access via the Match, JDate and eHarmony.coms of the world by traveling the most predictable route possible when executing the oh-so crucial first, second and third dates that decide whether a potential relationship goes past the potential stage.
It seems that 93 percent of the time after a man asks a girl out for Date 1, the destination will be dinner. The venue may not be the aforementioned Applebee’s, but some Manhattan reasonable facsimile thereof. Regardless, whether it is as swank as Tao, as run-of-the-mill as Connelly’s Bar and Grill, or as touristy as The Rainbow Room, the end result screams of monotony and feels as contrived as a Friday night wedding reception in Jersey:
Meet at the restaurant, order drinks, appetizer, entrée and possibly desert, all while never moving from the same seat at the table… trapped into making consistent eye contact.
The pressure for constant conversation when placed in such a scenario is palpable.
Silent moments? The chance to breathe or actually chew the food served?
No way in hell…
At this rate, if the two hours aren’t filled with perpetual dialogue, the date may be considered awkward and ultimately unsuccessful.
It almost even seems rude to use the bathroom.
Still, men, for fear of not being creative when planning a first formal encounter or because of plain laziness, continue to go this route. If the chemistry is there, then great. But really, how often does that truly happen?
And besides, women like dates they can tell their friends about. Dinner is, well, nice...but not something they’ll be giddily text-messaging their friends about when they get back to their apartment after it’s over.
So get a pen and start taking notes, gents. Here’s your guide to being anything but a humdrum date in a humdrum setting.
Date 1: Instead of the job interview that is dinner, go with drinks at a place near her apartment instead. This opens up several options. For starters, if the girl has dropped from a 9 to a 4.5 after actually talking to her sober (assuming you originally met in a bar), this allows an easier escape clause than surviving a 120-minute meal.
If things go well and she still is as aesthetically pleasing as the time you first met, great. Two drinks (if she appears to be a Lane Bryant cardholder, who for some can end a date quickly) can become six cocktails and two shots (if she clearly isn’t) if things are flowing smoothly.
More importantly, direct alcohol intake on a somewhat empty stomach after work always leads to easier conversation. You also have better access to knees and elbows on adjacent bar stools, which is always a plus when trying to send a subtle physical message. Dinner tables simply don’t allow that.
This kind of date is always more casual and easier for both parties to handle. Most importantly, it shows you aren’t trying so damn hard to impress her by dropping $300 on a first date. Despite what women will tell you, taking her to an expensive restaurant the first time out of gate doesn’t score any points. In fact, it will be more effective in scaring her away.
